I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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