About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
