got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
