Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Randomize
