put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Randomize
