You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Randomize
