Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
