That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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