I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
