just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
