Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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