I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
