Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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