My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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