paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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