SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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