and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
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