I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
