This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
