the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
