I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
