So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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