so let's talk penis.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
