i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
