Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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