Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
