The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
