I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
The feeling are messing with the penis
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
