I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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