Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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