Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
