it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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