That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
