summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Send help, water and tortillas.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
