Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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