I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
