Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I'm bleeding and have questions
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
