Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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