I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
