In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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