We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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