508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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