probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
