We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
