dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
