I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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