Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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