Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
