Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
