It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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