But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
