And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
